Let’s analyze these pretzels i’m eating.

‘Hold on for a wild taste ride ’cause our twisted snacks just won’t be tamed!’

I bought a bag of pretzels, this was not in the arrangement.

‘Each pretzel you pop transports your tongue to a place where sweet honey, tangy mustard and grilled onions fill the prairies with flavour – Pretzola style!’

Are these pretzels or drugs? I like honey, tangy mustard and grilled onions…ok…tell me more. Wait…shouldn’t they fill my mouth with flavor and not some prairie? Additionally, I like my tongue and I’d rather it stay in my mouth.

I really can’t bear to read more as they want me to taste a fresh ocean breeze…i’d rather not remember the smell from the Cape Cross seal colony…not a very fresh breeze.

All in all though…these are good pretzels and I don’t even really like pretzels.

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