Month: September 2008

Buy a distinct khaki purse to put your money in. They are to be used only when on vacation in strange and exotic, though potentially dangerous, locales around the globe. Instructions: Put all of your most valuable possessions in this magic bag and your worries will disappear. Features: the bag makes you and your giant camera, fanny pack, international mobile phone, mp3 player and clean sneakers blend into the local surroundings…you’re practically invisible. But wait there’s more, it tricks thieves through the art of reverse psychology because who could be stupid enough to put all of their money in one, clearly identifiable bag?

I believe these bags were actually designed and created by thieves. It’s genius. It’s always around your target’s neck. It’s a prominent color, khaki. It’s big enough that everyone puts their passport, credit cards and cash in it. It’s a perfect Win, Lose.

Seriously though, if you’re robbed it’s almost always because you were being careless…sometimes just bad luck. You went down the dark alley at night. You flashed your cash and someone saw. You were wearing really nice things and someone wanted them. You left your valuables sitting out in the open in your rental car. My advice is really just to think when you’re traveling. Be aware of common scams, know the bad areas of town, don’t take out more cash than you need that night, don’t be flashy. If you’re white in Africa you’re a likely target, it’s just the reality where I’ve been. Crooks are opportunists so don’t give them the opportunity. And please, don’t buy a special bag to hold your money. Put your money and cards in your front pocket and don’t have too much on you. The companies that make those bags are opportunists…think about it.

You get off the plane. You’re pumped. It’s vacation time. You’re taking in the sights. Then it hits you. You’re hungry. Um…do you have a menu in english? You don’t understand me? Can I just have a hamburger? No…a hamburger. No…A HAM-BUR-GER!

This does happen. You have this romantic view of traveling and how perfect things are going to be and then you realize that no one understands a word that is coming out of your mouth. The simple becomes arduous. Some of us go into hermit mode, cower in the corner and say nothing. Others try shouting. I’M FROM AMERICA…A-MER-I-CA…YOU KNOW, THE UNITED STATES OF… No matter who you are, first piece of advice, see if they understand your language. If they do, cool. If they don’t, good luck. Your best bet, speak clearly and slowly…not loudly. Spinal Tap’s 11 is just too high. The person is most likely not hard of hearing…they just don’t understand. This is when drawing pictures, pointing to maps and smiles are always good. No, they shouldn’t know how to speak English, it’s their country. Preach all you want about how ‘Americans should speak American,’ but only while in the U.S.. Outside those borders you’re the guest…act like it. Try to learn some of their language. If you love hamburgers find out how to say it. You’d be surprised how far a simple ‘hello’ in a native tongue will get you. Sure, they’ll probably respond with something you don’t understand, but that’s where the smile kicks in.

I deal with this problem every day and it can get to you sometimes, but that’s the nature of the traveling business. I figure it’s best to make the best of it and don’t worry too much, you’re bound to run into someone that understands you eventually.

What’s the biggest misunderstanding you have ever encountered while traveling because of a language difference?